Phone Phun

[Bandit]

The start of an attempted 4-lad conference call.

I dial and just listen as they pick up.

B

[Saucer]

I'll bet it is really good, but unfortunately my ISP blocks 4shared.

This domain is blocked.

Site blocked. www.4shared.com is not allowed on this network.

[Ben]

ello ?.....
Ello !

ello?....
Ello !?....

[MdeRooy]

Nice one Bandit!!

[ppalmr]

For the last couple of months I've had some Fone Fun as well but I can't record them, even if they aren't all safe for work. I got a virtual phone number on my Vonage account in case I want to dump the number and got a burn phone at Wal-Mart that I can dump as well. So when my lad calls the Vonage VN it SimulRings on the cell phone and I can talk to lads from work and play as well as at the computer.

What I like best about having multiple lads calling me at all hours of the day gives me an opportunity to keep my improv skills sharp. Some days I am on my meds, some not so much. I also suffer from some strange hearing deficiency as there are times I hear voices but can't understand the words they are saying.

This gives me the opportunity to ask spontaneous questions on the fly. For example I was once doubting my barrister's credentials and while he was telling me how smart he was I suddenly asked "What school did you go to?" He must have forgotten and I simply said "Hurry!" He blurted our "Ghana Law School." I googled and there is indeed a Ghana Law School although I doubt the lad knew that. But when the diplomatic was telling me he was going to arrive Miami USA on Thursday for him to proceed at once to my doorstep I asked him what hotel he was going to stay at hesitated but quickly recovered to tell me he was staying at Miami Hotel. I told him I've been there recently. For those of you who appreciate cult movies from the 70's I went into the scene from Slap Shot, "I (met) the barmaid last time I was there." I went on and on just like the movie. One of my favorite scenes from my second favorite movie. My favorite is of course Blazing Saddles which I won't describe here what I've recreated for my lads from that movie.

I've dabbled with phone lads for several years but not with the intensity I have recently. Although once I started tiring of the same email forms over and over lads can be more creative over the phone making their calls more individualistic as typing requires a lot of work from them.

Just yesterday while I was baiting out of my webmail I kept a lad on the line for eight and a half minutes never answering the question "Are you sending the payment; yes or no?" Last week I answered the phone to hear the lad ask for PP and once I said that is me he asked, "Why did your lawyer write to me to tell me that you were dead?" Instinctively I told him, "The bad news is that I am dead, the good news is that you will be joining us soon." Funny, the network connection dropped the call rather abruptly.

It does cost a few bucks but the entertainment value is worth it and I would recommend it for anyone who wants to spice up their baiting life.

[Saucer]

Talking to lads is great fun. I've gone to google voice with the number directed to my cell phone. I can record the calls using a Olympia recorder with a jack and ear piece hook up. Works nice.

[Bandit]

Skype can be fun as it seems you may be able to get 24 lads in a conference call group.

Only problem that even as cheap as Skype is, it can get expensive in a hurry, so top up the credit, and get the lads in a call!

B

[ppalmr]

My skype updated itself and now it doesn't stay open for more than an hour and the error message windows won't close, I have to cancel the processes.

It is good for making those few necessary calls. I like it better when they call me as I can't plan what to say and it's cheaper as well!

[MdeRooy]

Originally Posted by ppalmr

My skype updated itself and now it doesn't stay open for more than an hour and the error message windows won't close, I have to cancel the processes.

It is good for making those few necessary calls. I like it better when they call me as I can't plan what to say and it's cheaper as well!

Maybe you should just try and re-install Skype

[ppalmr]

While we are talking about Fone Funn it seems that a lot of lads like to call me at the very top of the hour. I'm talking about the exact stroke of xx:00:00;00.

I work in television and for those of you who watch television in your country, you like your shows to start on time and after a few decades I can do that for you, my viewers. This isn't done by magic, someone somewhere is pressing a mouse button to make this happen (I won't talk about loading and rewinding beta tapes as that will show just how old I am). I live in GMT-8 but work the night shift so I am working at 2am my time when the lads are just showing up in the cafe at the crack of noon. I sent them their information at 11pm in the morning so they know I am up and I have an East Coast Canadian number for them to call so they call no matter what time it is. But it gets aggravating when I am hard at work for ten seconds every hour and my cell is going off. I don't need to be synced with the atomic clock, I can just set my entire system to the top of the hour when they call.

/rant

[ppalmr]

Okay, I gotta get a way to make recording from my Vonage line.

Brief recap: Boy With Box, cab ride to Ghana, Fare 1700, had 1200, driver wants 500 send to him. Driver doesn't know content of box, told family belongings. Afraid driver will kill him and run away with contents. I want driver to contact me, back and forth rarely over two months, wake him up yesterday, driver calls me on phone this morning while I am at work (at 59:30, do they know how much that pisses me off?)

Driver wants 500 via westy, I tell him to send me email, three minute discussion on why I have waited three months for him to contact me. He will send email at once, he is at his computer. One hour later email sent and received. I write to inform him of the content of the box, he can get his 500, he can get the entire 65 mill, he can even kill my son and run away with the proceeds for all I care. About three hours later get another call, have I send the money? Has he checked he email? No he hasn't checked his email. One minute of me telling him to check his email. I'm punched out, day shift is in place and chatting with me, phone rings and it is driver, screaming and yelling at me. Hello, hello, I can't hear him. Rush home to get his call.

This boy is angry! Screaming, yelling, voice cracking in great anger. Entire cafe screaming "Modda Fokker" Why do I want him to kill the boy? I wicked man. Of course, I am yelling at him, there's your 500, kill him or not, I don't care. He asks if I have killed before I tell him I was in three wars over twenty years, yes, I have killed very very many times. Several more minutes of stereo yelling, he seems to be blowing a gasket, another boy from cafe takes over the phone. Hello, hello, can I send the money, of course I will and gladly, okay. Why is Driver so angry? Doesn't know. We hang up.

About 90 seconds later phone rings. Driver/caller yelling and screaming, entire cafe still yelling screaming. Modda fokka, modda fokka. He wants to kill me, I look forward to him arriving at my doorstep in my country. He has my full information from the little boy. (Note, I haven't provided any information to anyone outside of name/phone for several years now) Several minutes screaming and yelling, my dogs going WTF???

I pause here as in his violence he again states he wants to kill me. He has a gun and he will kill me. However I need to provide him the bullets for the gun. His exact quote "If you give me da bullets I have da gun and I we kill you". Damn, I know times are tough all over but why am I required to provide the bullets for the gun that is meant to kill me? I can understand the advanced fee but to provide the firepower for my own death?

So anyway, we continue screaming and yelling (you think lads get angry when you interrupt their written monologue, try screaming at a lad screaming at you) I am trying hard not to bust out laughing, his BP is 500/400 and he appears to be ready to faint. He hangs up while I am still yelling at him.

He didn't call back and my skype doesn't like me since it updated itself without asking me otherwise I would have called him back. Again and again, over and over.

Wait a few, go back to webmail, nothing from him so I write him an email. I got him his 500 fast he should thank me. He can take the entire 65mill I don't care. Boy was afraid he would have killed him if he know the contents so killing him was only an option for him to consider. I told him the war story about the 10,000 enemy soldiers who wanted me dead and I am still here so if in war only the strong survive he needs to consider the downsides before he arrives at my doorstep. I told him about the enemy sniper who successfully snuck up on me while I was sleeping and before he could pull the trigger I had ripped out his eyes and was pissing directly on his brain. I look forward to meeting him at my doorstep in my country.

Strange, I haven't heard back from him.

I would rather be a Modda Messerschmidt than a Modda Fokker any day.

Although I didn't record this believe me it wouldn't be suitable for anyone, the foul language and ancestry searches were quite embarrassing for him to hear. I wish I had told him earlier that I am a reverend father, I haven't played the church card in a while.

Yeah, phone are phun.

Y'all remain bless now, hear?

[Saucer]

Good stuff, ppalmr. I'd have listened.

[ppalmr]

I got my skype to open and tweaked a few setting and it seems to want to stay open now. I had never gotten SAM (kishkish) to work as I have other audio apps I use in RL and those are not negotiable no matter how many united state dolla is at stake. But today is the first time I got SAM to open. And work. I needed to call someone to test it out, but who? (whom??)

Lucky (above boy) answered his phone, SAM kicked in and worked for the first time on my console. We had an intelligent conversation, discussing the ancestry of both of our families as well as sexual preferences and what we like to eat. Although we didn't discuss our own but the others' and we used the greatest of detail in describing each other's preferences. I was unaware that Africans are peaceful and noble people who are honest and caring people while Americans take drugs and kill each other. Why can't they see my Canadian phone number, eh?

It saved a WAV file, I normalized it and saved it as an MP3 however the foul language and severe sexual content surprised even me. His language wasn't that much nicer either.

I have also noted that not only do I have to provide the bullets, but I am required to pay for the engineer to open the box so that he can run away with the money. Sheesh

Now I gotta buy a skype-in number for recordings.

[MdeRooy]

Originally Posted by ppalmer

I would rather be a Modda Messerschmidt than a Modda Fokker any day.

In dutch you can simplify motherfucker to modder fokker, in that case it means muddy fokker (a crashed fokker plane).

[Bandit]

Depending on the type of phone you have hooked up to Vonage, you can record it - just like a landline.

If you have a cordless (or something with a headset jack), you can get a little gizmo that will tie into the line-in of a PC and use Audacity to record.

Only drawback is that you need to have Audacity running in the background, or it takes forever to load and start recording.

B